Friday morning one of my friends called to see if I wanted to go surfing later. I immediately declined. Fear is a powerful enemy. As soon as she asked me, I could feel my heart racing. I think it was actually fear that responded to her, not my voice.
But as I hung up the phone, I began to realize that fear was stopping me from living a fun, spontaneous life. Even though I live with my boys who are avid surfers, and I have a bunch of friends who surf, I never really learned how. And the few times that I've attempted have brought me such panic, it's almost palpable. It doesn't make sense, really. I'm pretty comfortable in the ocean and love to swim and snorkel, but put a surf board into the equation, and my knees go weak, my heart beats like machine gun fire, and I get a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I called her right back, and told her that it was the fear talking, not me, and that yes, I did want to go. Hooray for me! Fear was not going to stop me, well, this time anyway.
Doheny State Beach has a pretty forgiving wave, so we drove down and hopped in the water there. Once I mustered up the courage to paddle out, it was amazing! The sun was out, pelicans flew past, and the water was pretty warm. It made me feel alive!
|I looked exactly like this, right?|
|A beautiful day at Doheny|
I'm going to leave at that for now. I've got to run, but I'll finish telling you about the weekend rollercoaster ride later. Bye for now.