Thursday, October 27, 2011

I didn't know that

Maybe I should turn this blog into a step by step medical navigation blog, now that I'm on this path of medical intervention for a leg that doesn't feel anything. How exciting would that be? We could all discuss aging, how bad it sucks, aches & pains, and all sorts of other pains in our backs, necks and asses. Sounds fun, right?

Ah well, I'll try to indulge myself in this stuff as little as possible. No really, I promise! 

But today I'm going for it, ready or not.

Had the MRI yesterday and learned something about myself that I never knew before. I am claustrophobic! 

As they were inching me head first into the machine, I became completely full of anxiety and thought my heart and my brain were going to explode. The only things that kept me from jumping off the table and running far, far away were, 1. I can't feel my left leg, so I probably wouldn't get very far, and 2. I would have to start all over again if I ever want to feel my leg again. So, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to even my breathing and not panic for the next half hour of torture, which, by the way, felt like a lifetime. I am extremely proud of myself for not pressing the panic button until the very end. Good girl.

The results of the MRI show that I have a bulging disc that is pinching my sciatic nerve. Now I have to see a neurologist. A neurologist, folks! Shit, do you think they'll find more wrong with me than just a pinched nerve? 

I got the referral back, called to make an appointment, but the doctor that I was assigned to has broken the machine I need. Now I'm now waiting (and waiting) for a second referral to come back. 

Aren't HMO's great? 

Meanwhile, I keep thinking that my leg will magically heal itself, kind of like that liver I keep abusing. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

What do I know?

I recently watched one of the Ted Talks by performance poet, Sarah Kay. Per Ted Talks, she was courageous, funny and inspirational to listen to, but something she said really struck a chord with me. She was asking each person in the audience to list 3 things that they know to be true, then listed her own 3 things.

So, that got me to thinking about my own 3 things. After thinking and thinking, scratching my noggin, and banging my head against the wall, I realized I don't know much to be absolutely true. And on any given day, what I know to be true one day may be completely and utterly false the next.

But anyways, here are my 3 things that I know to be true today:

1. Bad things come in increments higher than 3. (but hopefully not more than 10 or 11)

2. There are usually good things that come alongside bad things.

3. Not being able to feel your left leg stinks.

Ok, so I'm wondering what your 3 things are?

I'll keep you posted on my number of bad things after I get my MRI appointment set...