Thursday, October 27, 2011

I didn't know that

Maybe I should turn this blog into a step by step medical navigation blog, now that I'm on this path of medical intervention for a leg that doesn't feel anything. How exciting would that be? We could all discuss aging, how bad it sucks, aches & pains, and all sorts of other pains in our backs, necks and asses. Sounds fun, right?

Ah well, I'll try to indulge myself in this stuff as little as possible. No really, I promise! 

But today I'm going for it, ready or not.

Had the MRI yesterday and learned something about myself that I never knew before. I am claustrophobic! 

As they were inching me head first into the machine, I became completely full of anxiety and thought my heart and my brain were going to explode. The only things that kept me from jumping off the table and running far, far away were, 1. I can't feel my left leg, so I probably wouldn't get very far, and 2. I would have to start all over again if I ever want to feel my leg again. So, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to even my breathing and not panic for the next half hour of torture, which, by the way, felt like a lifetime. I am extremely proud of myself for not pressing the panic button until the very end. Good girl.

The results of the MRI show that I have a bulging disc that is pinching my sciatic nerve. Now I have to see a neurologist. A neurologist, folks! Shit, do you think they'll find more wrong with me than just a pinched nerve? 

I got the referral back, called to make an appointment, but the doctor that I was assigned to has broken the machine I need. Now I'm now waiting (and waiting) for a second referral to come back. 

Aren't HMO's great? 

Meanwhile, I keep thinking that my leg will magically heal itself, kind of like that liver I keep abusing. 


  1. OK, a couple of brighter points too look at...
    1) You realized you were having a panic attack and didn't think you were stroking out or having a heart attack.

    2) You got a diagnosis. That in itself is huge

    3) Compare your HMO copay to what you would pay, just for the deductables, if you didn't have an HMO. Now add up, seperately, any presriptions. Oh and don't forget the heaps of paperwork that would go on forever! That, alone, is reason enough for me to go with an HMO.

    OK, your turn! Go ahead and talk me into going to the doctor and dealing with the insurance crap.

    I hope you get fixed soon!!!

    xox cyn

  2. cyn, i spose you're right about the co-pay & prescriptions, but hmo's still suck and there's no talking me out of that one.
    that said, you should go see your doctor so you can have as much fun as me!

  3. ack! omg!!!!! i hope you are going to be ok! and i hope all of this is fixable! ya need that leg!

    and i think i would DIE in that machine. ugh.

    hang in there! and i hope this is all wrapped up soon!!!!!

  4. Care, I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I've got similar problems with my back and my neck and have had steroid injections, 2x in my back and once in my neck. They helped but not a cure. Hang in there!! Sending lots of love and healing thoughts for you!!!

  5. hope you are doing ok!!!

    and your tea comment made me laugh!!!

  6. Yowza. GOOD for you for hanging in there. Scary machine, indeed. But, you're so right, you HAD to do it to find out what's going on. Did you see the neuro yet? Any relief? All of "health care" makes me sick. sigh.